I have been a sexuality educator for around 10 years now and feel very comfortable in the role, but as I get closer to finishing my studies I began to wonder where I was going with all of this. Uni lecturers, other sexologists and friends have all assumed I would be a therapist, but there was something holding me back from moving in that direction as my primary focus. SELF DOUBT.
Self doubt can hold us back from achieving so much in life, why did I have this doubt when others had so much belief in me? This is an area I believed I knew very little, I understood all the theory but had never worked as a counsellor or therapist. Several sleepless nights and pondering days and I realised that I had felt like this towards the end of my last degree, I may not have worked in a therapy role,but i had counselled clients, in crisis and opportunistically for many years. Maybe I didnt understand some of the more recent models of therapy and their frameworks, but hey I could learn.
I made a decision.....I GOT THIS..... no more doubt, onward and upward, a placement with a well established therapist and extra days with counsellors in another service, observing, discussing cases and learning.
Time to be sure in the skills that I have, that others have recognised and time to learn what I dont know with the guidance of those who do.
A bit like my journey's in other areas of my life, exploring my spirituality, my sexuality, the world of kink, poly relationships, all areas that I was unsure of but eager to learn about. Research through reading, talking to others, workshops and personal experiences helped me feel less doubt in the things I did not know, I gained knowledge and skills and worked out what was for me and what was not. Sometimes I dipped my toe in , or slowly lowered my whole self and other times I just held my breath an took a leap into the unknown.
As I do these things on my journey to becoming a psychosexual therapist, you also do the same exploring your sensuality.
Welcome to the ride, it may be cruisey, it may be wild but it will never be boring.