It has been 2 weeks since I blogged and in that time I have turned another year older. I celebrated by spending sometime with a soul sister who was also having a birthday and being surprised by my partner and friends at dinner.
It got me thinking about the relationships we have with our friends, some of them are fleeting, some are for several years and some are for a lifetime. Some fill a particular need, the friend we laugh with, be silly with, cry with, turn to for support or a quick kick when we have done something not in our best interests. The ones we see nearly every day, maybe a regular weekly or monthly catch up, or the ones who are also as busy as us and we see every few months or a couple of times a year and those we do not see for many years but when we do its just like old times and we have not been apart. There are the ones that cross our minds and we realise we have not thought about them or seen them in a while and we do not miss them (maybe its had its day), and then the ones that we miss dearly but cannot often catch up with. Maybe we remember and mourn the times when we spent a lot of time together in the past, wishing we could rekindle the once bright flame of that friendship, does it just need fanning again, is there still a spark and all we need is to reconnect?
As I looked at the faces that were there over dinner, I saw people I had known for many years, some for a while, some were new friends, and others I hold dear in my heart were not there, were they busy, did they not know about the evening or were they over the friendship and had they already moved on while I was still holding on to something that was now one sided?
Our friendships often echo the way we do other relationships in our lives, we cherish some, nurture some, hold on too tight to some or forget some.
I know that personally, I will work at a relationship with family, friends and lovers even after they have stopped trying or being interested, I will let people let me down once, maybe twice, but three times and I am done. Every year I look at the people in my life and assess how the relationship is going, have we both worked at the relationship, reached out to each other, supported each other, even touched base be it ever so briefly or am I holding on after the due date and is it time to let it go?
Letting go can be tough, we may mourn what was, but life is always full of new people and new and exciting possibilities. People will come and go, experiences will be had and lessons will be learnt. Whether it is for a reason, a season or a lifetime, friends, lovers, soulmates or twin flames, the only enduring relationship we will have throughout our lives is the one we have with ourselves.
Cherish the people who come into your life, remember them fondly for what you have shared, be it an easy and delightful lesson or a difficult one, let them go when the time is right, be open to welcoming new people in and know that through it all you will always have YOU.
Nuture your relationship with SELF, relish who you have become, be excited about who you are yet to be and LOVE YOU.
Richelle has had a passion for sexuality and sexual health since 2001. She has worked in the field since 2006, providing sexuality education in schools, and adult education in the topics of diverse sexualities and gender identities, LGBT health issues, sexual health and LGBT relationships.
This is a space for me to share with you my journey as a Sexologist, the things I learn and the people I meet and what I think and feel along the way.