BDSM......what, where, why and how
As you can see above when broken up the letters are actually like this: BD, DS, SM
BD- bondage and discipline
DS- dominance and submission
SM- sadism and masochism
Bondage and Discipline
Just what it says, bondage is restraint with ropes, chains or whatever you have handy while discipline can be impact play such as flogging and whipping or any other form of discipline as negotiated, with limits and safewords
Dominance and Submission
This is about power exchange and power play and quite explanatory, one person dominates while the other submits, all this is negotiated with limits, both soft and hard discussed and agreed upon and safewords
Sadism and masochism
This is about giving and receiving pain, the sadists gives and the masochists receives, once again this is negotiated between those involved with limits and safewords.
You will see that all aspects include negotiation and in some cases even a contract, limits are discussed (what you are willing and not willing to do) and the most common safe words are green (this is good, I enjoy this, keep going), yellow (maintain that level, do not go any harder) and red (stop right now). When playing where you are unable to speak (using a gag) then a sign is used, that the person giving can see and know what the receivers wishes are.
The key words when talk BDSM are SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL(SSC) and sometimes RISK AWARE CONSENSUAL KINK (RACK). It is important to keep this in mind when negotiating and playing:
SAFE- always play safely taking precautions to ensure that there is no permanent harm (physical or psychological)
SANE- be aware of risk, do not play under the influence of substances
CONSENSUAL- consent is sought in neogtiation and throughout play and play can be changed at any time by the use of safewords
RAK is self explanatory: when you play you are aware of the risk and engage in play consensually
The person who is on the receiving end of the play always has control of the situation, through what was previously negotiated and their safewords.
So if you are thinking of getting out there and engaging in BDSM or kink play then educate yourself, pop onto websites where you can learn and chat, attend a play party and see what you think and above all.....have fun
For more information check out Lifestyles and Sexual Practices