I have had the opportunity over the past few months to sit in on a few sessions and observe, to discuss a variety of cases and even to provide psychosexual education. I have also had the opportunity since promoting myself and my studies more broadly to answer questions, provide information and support to a range of people online.
So why would someone come along and see a sex therapist or even reach out for support around their sexual wellbeing? I recently came across this list of reasons and I will add some of the ones I discovered recently
1. Seeking help with confidence and low self-esteem/self doubt2. Self-exploration/personal “journey”
3. Coping with past abuse/trauma (sexual, emotional, physical, etc.)
4. Coping with sexual shame and/or guilt related to sexuality
5. Learning sexual communication skills
6. Help with unsatisfactory sexual response (lack of sex drive, trouble achieving orgasm, etc.)
I would also add:
- Lack of sexual knowledge
- Sexual issues beyond those mentioned in number 6. (sexual pain, lack of arousal, early, delayed or no orgasm)
- Relationship issues
- Confusion around sexuality or gender identity
- Menopause and hormonal issues affecting sexuality
- Body image issues affecting sexual expression
- Sexual misconceptions
And I am sure over the years I will be able to add many more.
One of the important things to remember is that we do not come to sex knowing what to do, it is a learned skill. If we have not been provided with good information in a sex and body positive way then we may have a whole range of issues stem from lack of or misinformation.
Difficulties with sex or relationships cross all sexes, genders, sexualities, cultures, ages and socio-economic groups. So there is no need to be embarrassed, feel fear, shame or guilt.....we often don't know what we don't know....so do not be scared to reach out.....you are not alone.